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Poor Charlotte

Me
Charlotte has not pooped since Monday.

I'm told not to worry too much, that many babies have this issue, but this is a sudden change from her..."schedule"...and it does worry me.  My doctor just changed my medication levels for my thyroid, so I hope that's not affecting her.  Poor thing was fine all week despite not going, but today she's spent nearly every waking moment kicking her legs and screaming.  We tried the suggested remedies, but nothing's worked.  Thank god she has an appointment with her doctor on Monday morning, because it breaks my heart when I can't comfort her.

In other news, I've seen the light and now understand why the American banking system is so fucked.  It's because they're MORONS.
Here's a little run-down of their "reasoning":

April 2010:

Me: Yes, I'd like to get a forbearance on my payments for the months of September and October?
Big Bank: Have you defaulted on your payment?
M: ...no, I'm trying to avoid defaulting.  Just letting you know that after my child is born, those two months will be difficult.
B: I'm sorry, we can't do anything for you until you default.
M: ...I'm trying to be responsible here.  You're saying that I can't be proactive, but rather just...stop paying before you'll deal with me?
B: I'm sorry ma'am.  You could pay an additional fee per month and after six months you could then request several months without payments.
M: ...that won't really work for my situation.
B: How about a balance transfer into your bank account to tide you over?
M: Let me think about it.

June 2010
Me: Yes, I'd like to do a balance transfer to one of my cards.
Big Bank: Sure...oh wait, you can't because that bank also uses the same card services company that we do.  But take that check we sent you and open an account at our bank and we'll give you 0% until November, then it'll just be like a purchase.  Then you can just take that money to pay your other account.
Me:  Gee, thanks!  That'll help a lot!

September 2010
Big Bank: Oooo, yeah...so since that rep didn't actually do the transaction himself and since there was nothing specifically printed on that check we sent you, we can't give you that promotional rate.
Me:  But your rep, the bank associate, and the rep SHE talked to all told me it was fine.
B: Yeah, no.  Sorry, there's nothing we can do.
M: No, this is unacceptable.  I had three people tell me it was going through as a transfer under that rate!
B: Sorry, but you have no proof.  For all we know, you suddenly changed your mind.  BUT!  You can do ANOTHER balance transfer at your current promotional rate, wait for it to clear, and then pay the first one off!
M:.  Let me get this straight; I will take money from your institution to put into...your institution.  You will need four days to essentially give the money to yourself.  Once you've officially transferred the money from your institution into your institution, I then have to call you to authorize you taking the money BACK out of your institution to pay...your institution.
B: ...yes.
M: The money goes in a big circle within your own company just to change the numbers on the APR?
B:  Well, yes, but...
M: And this makes more sense than just changing the APR?
B: Well...we can't just change the APR.
M: Though that will be the end result?
B:  The end result would be you getting the promotional rate.
M: The same one I'm asking you for now?
B: Yes.

Is it just me, or does this seem a little superfluous?  I understand needing a paper trail, but this is ri-goddamn-diculous.  And the funny thing is that every time I talk to someone, they have a different solution and "no clue" why the other reps told me to do certain things in fixing this.

Wow, my faith in our financial system is so boosted by this experience.  Thank you.

Sitting in the Void that comes after a cry

Me
Today's been a hard day.  It really shouldn't be, but it is.  My 30th birthday and I've already spent too much of it in my room crying.  Not so much for the birthday but for hormones and still waiting on the baby.  Completely irrational, but it's not something I can really help at the moment.  I know I set myself up, especially after being in false labor for 12 hours yesterday, but I was really wanting her to come today at the latest.  Doesn't seem like that's going to happen.  At least I'll have my mom here tonight.

The doctor was so positive today, despite being late and having me sitting in the office half-naked under a paper sheet for an hour with a fidgety three-year-old and husband.  She said the false labor episode did do something: it pushed me from 2 cm to 3, just about 4cm.  She said it's very close and to try not to stress.  She said if I wanted she would induce me tonight, but when I started talking to her about the options, her eyes widened and she gave my arm a squeeze saying, "Your face: you look so apprehensive!  Don't feel like you have to do anything, ok?  We can take this at any pace you want; I just want you to know you have all the options available to you."  It was nice to have that concern, because I'm just not sold on induction for selfish, non-medical reasons.  But, as she pointed out, with as swollen as my right leg is and a slightly rising (yet rising) BP, she doesn't think going to 41 weeks would be the best plan.  

So right now we've agreed to meet on Monday morning, see where I am, and schedule induction from there...if I even make it that far.  If I decide during the week that I just want to have her, I can call her and go right to the hospital and she'll have them start the induction process.  The option is very helpful, but I'm so stressed about this.  I don't make decisions well as a rule; having the baby come on her own relieves me of having to make one and I'd rather she get on with that.

It's pretty tense around the house today, I think because my stress levels aren't giving me the ability to act as Calming Influence to the rest of the house.  Alex is bounding off the walls after being cooped up in the doc's office, and A is stressing about money and Alex's boundless destructive energy, and I'm stressed between the baby and being sad that my 30th birthday isn't the big event I'd hoped it would be.  Even if I had to be at work, I'd still have cake and smiles and well wishes that weren't prompted by a Facebook reminder.  I do appreciate the wishes, but the whole day just feels like a let down, and my hormones make me feel guilty about feeling that way while A is trying so hard to make the day nice for me.  Maybe I'll go downstairs and knit if my hands will allow it, or sew up that pretty skirt that I made but never finished...just something to occupy my thoughts and pull me out of that empty feeling I get when I'm depressed.

A nice day

Me
Today was, I think, one of the few emotionally lucid days I've had in the past month.  It was nice, but I think it was because I developed --what the fuck is up with this ad running in the corner of my screen while I type?  It's fucking DISTRACTING! -- a sort of narcolepsy throughout the day.  I'd be doing something and suddenly I'd wake up on the couch 20 minutes later wondering when I'd even fallen asleep.  I was intently watching the last 10 minutes of Germany's failure in World Cup when I suddenly looked up and the game was well over.  Don't understand it, but I guess the body needed it.  That and I think I've caught Alex's cold, which my body is not happy about because it's trying to organise labor at the moment.

My son really wowed me today: during the nap that he was reluctant to take (yet didn't try to escape), I heard after about an hour his door open.  I waited, watching the stairs for his little face to peek down so I could yell at him to go back to bed.  But I saw nothing.  A few minutes later, I heard the door close.  I listened to the monitor for awhile, but I heard his sleepy breathing and shrugged it off.  He'd been in his room for close to 4 hours when I went to check on him.  Normally I only let him take 2 hour naps, but with his cold he hasn't been sleeping well, and with those bags under his eyes I was determined to let his body get all the rest it could.  When I got to his room, I saw him sprawled naked on his bed.  I peeked in the bathroom and saw that he'd gotten up and attempted to peel off his sleep diaper.  Since he couldn't do it in time, he left the wet diaper and his shorts by the potty and went back to bed.  That he tried made me proud.

Then we decided to go to Outback for dinner as a last hurrah for me before Little Miss makes her appearance.  Alex was very well behaved, eating his bread, bits of my salad, most of his broccoli and half his chicken without fuss.  Then he asked my husband to take him to the potty, which he used!  This is new to us: when in a pull-up or diaper he would normally just have the accident, but lately he's been requesting to use the toilet.  I think he just likes being able to stand and "aim" like a big boy, which he's been trying to do ever since my dad's visit, which intrigued him since no one is allowed to go to the bathroom in our house without his supervision and subsequent praise (Oh, good girl, Mommy!  You go pee-pee in the potty!!).  Seeing that other grown-up men pee standing up made something click for him that just wasn't clicking when it was him and me.

It was late, but we needed some groceries so we went to the store.  He got to ride in the "race car" cart and didn't make a peep the whole time.  He was so good I decided to get a package of Reese's cups for us to share.  He jumped into his car seat and accepted his treat with an "Oh, thanks Mom!" and a big kiss.  We came home and he went upstairs without fuss, undressed, did all his business on the potty, brushed his teeth, and climbed into bed for his stories and bedtime song.  We heard him talking to his stuffed animals for awhile, but he never fussed or got up.

Really?  I wish all days were like this.

Happy 3rd Birthday to my little boy

Me
Today was such a good day, and as such was a stark contrast to the past two days.  But I don't want to go into those days: today was too good.

I went to my monitoring early in the morning and had a good session.  I believe the description the nurse gave was "perfect".  My Little Miss is perfect: heart rate is great and she's practicing her breathing.  I told them what was going on with my other doctor and the nurse offered to ease my mind and check how I was progressing since my OB doesn't see the need at the moment, despite my being 36 1/2 weeks.  She said I was about 50% effaced and somewhere between 1-2cm, and the baby's head is very, very engaged in my pelvis.  Though I could've told them that one.  Every delivery is different, so there's no guarantee when I'll have the baby, but it put me at ease to know where we stood.  I'll be making demands on Monday with my OB about another check since her office canceled my 38 week appt. because of their scheduling errors.

Today was Alex's 3rd birthday -- I can't believe he's three already.  He was so excited and chatty today: he went to daycare and brought cupcakes, and was excited to tell me about how the kids sang to him and how much fun he had.  I made it a point to stop at the party store and buy some Toy Story balloons and make some chocolate cupcakes so we could sing to him when he got home.  He was so happy about the balloons and cupcakes that he kept hugging us and telling us he loved us.  We saved one present to give him today: a plastic Buzz Lightyear and Emperor Zurg bank.  He carried that bank everywhere and I even heard him playing with it in bed tonight.  He picked out his own dinner, which was chicken nuggets, french fries, and broccoli; and when we had finished eating we allowed him to take the rest of his supper to the TV tray and watch Toy Story 2.  

The only fuss he made was a meltdown when his balloon got caught in the ceiling fan.  The balloon was ok, but he was devastated.  I had to hold him and calm him down while A got the ladder and untangled it.  He went to bed without a fuss, so long as the balloon was at the foot of his bed and the new bank was on his nightstand.

I've always loved doing little things for people, but nothing tops doing something that really gets through to your child: they don't have any qualms about running around and laughing or jumping on you to kiss you when they're happy about something.  Seeing his little face light up and then have him run over and kiss me saying, "Thanks, Mom!" was the most precious thing ever.  Even though I was in a lot of pain (from early labor progress), I couldn't sit still and had to bring him things, hug him, play puzzles, and just watch that smile light up his face.

So...tired...

Me
Oh, insomnia.  And I was so tired, too.  I saw the clock hit 12 and was ready to crash, but as soon as I was in bed I knew I wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon.  Hopefully soon, because 6am is going to come quick, unless I'm lucky and Alex sleeps in a bit.  He's not feeling his best, so hopefully he'll sleep.

Sunday is Alex's 3rd birthday party and damn is he excited.  Tomorrow night we'll make up the veggie tray and gift bags, and A and I will wrap the last of the presents.  It's hard to believe he's three already, but then again it's hard to believe at times that he's only three.  He's a sharp one and a parrot, and I find my jaw dropping more often than not with the things he says.  He's very protective of me and snuggly until about 5:00pm...then he turns into a defiant little beast.  I literally had to fork-feed him his dinner tonight because he wouldn't eat again, and when issued threats just narrowed his eyes and told us off.  The only time we got through to him tonight was after he threw a toy at my head and he got a whap on the butt.  He cried more out of indignation than anything and was REALLY MAD when we made him look at us as we explained and made him apologise.  But then we started to clean and he leaped back into his "little helper" mode that he likes so much.  He even helped with laundry, taking a small break to "looking something on the computer, Mom.  I looking baby sister clothes".  He came back when he couldn't get past the password and I asked if he saw any good clothes; he said no.

Em, we got the results back:  Sammy is in incredibly good health despite being down to 9 lbs. and having thyroid problems.  The crystals were apparently just from the draw and he has arthritis, so they've put him on glucosamine.  So now I've no frickin' clue: I'm of a mind to dope them both up on kitty Prozac and see if THAT stops them.  The Feliway used to work, but Murphy's arrival and Alex's mobility pissed them off so much that they started aiming for the pheromone plug-ins.  Little bastards.

So...two more days and the stitch comes out.  And then the insanity really begins of making sure everything is just so (it really isn't).  Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.

Sausage fingers

Me
Finally in the homestretch.   My fingers, hands, wrists, feet and ankles have all swollen horribly yet again to the point where I can barely close my hands.  Good thing I finished that knitting project.  Plus my appetite is petering out like before: I'll snack, but I don't really want to eat.  Must be getting close.

I go tomorrow for my last monitoring session before the stitch comes out, and Little Miss is wedged down in my pelvis just waiting.  This week has seen more Braxton Hicks contractions, some even accompanied by sharp pains as they push on that stitch, but there's no visible signs that there's trauma, so I'm ok.  Tonight I had A take care of my chores while I sucked down ice water on the couch.  There are still so many things to do and I'm hoping to get the important things done before Monday, just in case.  After Monday we'll just see when she comes, but I'm really hoping it won't come to me lying on the couch and waiting out another three weeks; sitting is REALLY uncomfortable with her jammed under my pubic bone and I hate being swollen.

Alex is having his third birthday party on Sunday and we're all excited.  A and I weren't really going to get him anything, and then of course we found all these things we HAD to get him.  That has to stop, but we told ourselves it was his last chance to really have all the attention and toys to himself.  He's sharing this party with another little boy and was disappointed when we moms chose Mickey Mouse as a theme over "Buzz LIghtyear", but once he sees the pool, presents and the cake I'm sure he won't care.

Fingers are crossed here as we batten down the hatches and crank up the AC as we creep into triple digits.  Alex seems excited about helping, even if he doesn't completely understand what's going to happen.  I'll try to get pics up as soon as I can, but there's no guarantee: two kids at once is gonna be killer!

Ready to lock and load!

Me
I am so sick right now.

Alex gave me his cold just in time for my dad's visit, which I guess was good timing after all because Dad is doing a lot to help us out around the house and in entertaining Alex, who makes it a point to ask as soon as he wakes up, "Where's Boompa?"  I've just been drippy and had a sore throat, but yesterday and today I've been getting increasingly nauseous.  I'm hoping it's from the cold, especially after today's ultrasound appointment.

Little Miss is currently head down, which is good, and has her face jammed as far down as it will go at the moment while at the same time being pressed against my hip bone.  Everything is in position and ready, and in the past month she's gone from the 51st percentile to the 66th in weight, weighing now about 5 1/2 lbs.  She's still got cooking to do, but if there's no scarring on my cervix when they take the stitch out in three weeks, I could very well be having her in the beginning of July.  The nausea concerns me only because I can't actively dilate without damaging myself, but while I've been feeling a lot of pressure, some cramping, and some bouts of non-regular contractions, I haven't had any of the telltale signs that there is any tearing going on (thank god, but then I'm doing what I can to keep my activity levels low).  Still, it could be a precursor...and then again, it could be my cold.  I'm hoping for the latter, because I'm afraid of pushing it and going into labor early.   I've got another few weeks of those hormone shots to keep her at bay, but they stop when the stitch comes out in 20 days.  (omg, 20 days...it's creeping up fast!)

Tomorrow A goes back to work and Dad and I will be alone with Alex most of the day.  We'll probably sort through baby clothes while Alex naps: with the Vegas heat, we've decided that a lot of things need to be exchanged up for 6-9 month, and we don't have many of those clothes anyway.  We had enough 3 month clothes to clothe a houseful of kids!  Plus, I have all my old "little boy clothes" to pass to my sister that Dad has to try to fit in his suitcase.  I'm so close to being done with my sister's baby blanket, but I've taken a small break from it, so I may just mail it to her.

Ok, time for some water and see if I can get to sleep despite this nausea and Little MIss's hiccups.

Slow Down, Brain

Me
The ever-growing list inside my head:

- Finish designing and knitting a black lacy baby cardigan for Little Miss this winter
- Make pretty rainbow longies for Little Miss
- Crochet a pretty bonnet
- Stitch together all the clothes I've already cut from their patterns and have lying around
- Make wool pants for Alex's Midwest excursion this winter
- Make Alex a nice sweater for a change
- Make Alex a hat to fit his ginormous head for this winter
- Finish refinishing the baby's dresser and assemble in our room
- Finish sorting through baby clothes
- Wash all the baby things and prep all gear/diapers/sheets/blankets
- Start planning out meals to freeze
- Plan Alex's 3rd birthday party
- Finalize possible loan arrangement for the 6 weeks unpaid leave after the baby is born
- Spend time making Alex feel special while it's still just us
- Finish the last three or four repeats on Achoo's blanket
- Finish stitching the snaps on the gown I made for Liam
- Baby booties!
- Oh shoot, I started crocheting that stroller mobile....finish that, too...
- Get to the store and buy last minute toiletries for self and baby.

OMG, do I really only have a month left until the stitch comes out?  Where the hell did the time go?!

I <3 yarn

Me
I am armed with both the knowledge that Joann's is having a 25% off all sock yarn sale until June and a Memorial Day 10% off total purchase including sale items coupon.

...Bring it.

And hey, look what I made!Collapse )
Me
With third trimester insomnia rearing its ugly head, I find myself eyeing the Civ III discs we have and wishing my laptop were still alive so I could play it.  I could just go downstairs and play Civ on the Playstation 3, but I think I'd be up even later if I was downstairs where food and drink live.  Upstairs I have to keep quiet and hope that it will lull me to sleep.  If A can fix my laptop, I may set it up in the guest room so I can play in there at night.  I really need to sleep though: It's becoming increasingly unfair to Alex (though he probably wouldn't agree) that I let him watch whatever he wants in the morning and zonk out on the couch because I couldn't get to sleep the night before.  And sweet boy that he is, he only wakes me to announce that he's used his Froggy potty or that his movie is over and he'd like to watch "this one" now.  And he'll have usually taken the disc out of the case and smudged it, but damn does he try!  Right now I'm just happy that it's Wallace and Gromit, because I love them.  I'm hoping to convince Alex to let me dress him as Wallace for Halloween, and then Puppy can be Gromit and his baby sister can be one of the sheep from "A Close Shave".

Today he watched nearly every Wallace and Gromit video we had until it was time to go to the doctor's.  He was a perfect angel in the waiting room, even going so far as to clean up all the toys in the corner before we went in.  Then he walked down the hall and saw The Chair and immediately started to cry.  I had to rock him while sitting in the chair as the doctor tried to calm him down.  In the end, he sat as peacefully as he ever has while the doctor first looked into his ears, then spent about ten minutes fishing with different instruments to remove a mass of wax that was the only thing keeping his tube from falling out.  He amazed me, because I knew he didn't like it, but just my gently touching his head and his ability to reach and stroke my arm seemed to soothe him.  We got through the appointment with both tubes removed from his ears and the eardrums intact and healthy.  Yay!  And he got a sticker in return and the ability to tell everyone he saw for the rest of the day, "Doctor take boogers out my ear!"

The doc also took a look at Alex's SUPER big tonsils and agreed that from their healthy, non-inflamed size, Alex's tonsils may have to come out.  After July, when Alex turns 3, we'll make another appointment to have him take a closer look, but as of now he thinks Alex is definitely a candidate for the procedure.  Which I agree, because they bulge into view when he's not sick, and when he is sick he needs steroids because they press together.  Also, they cause him to snore loudly at night and sometimes make wheezing, labored breaths because they relax and block his airway.  It won't be a happy time for him, but I think he'll be better off for it.  If he can have more comfort in the act of breathing than his father or I have, I'll jump at the chance.

Looking forward to a fun weekend: a park playdate tomorrow, Bruins game 7 (please let them win!), a poolside barbecue with my friend and her family on Sunday, and knitting group on Tuesday.  Now to get my bootie in gear and get cleaned and organised so that we only have to worry about setting things up at the end of June for Little Miss.  I just have to remember that it's pointless to take everything out and wash and scrub now, because it's only going to get dirty in the next two months and I'll have to clean it again!